I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
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I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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