Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
he fucked my hip out of place.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
