You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
