Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
