If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
