You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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