i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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