so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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