I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Randomize
