remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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