there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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