In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
