so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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