I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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