with your own penis?
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
