This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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