Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
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I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
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Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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