If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize