TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
