did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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