phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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