I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
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