Are we in a gay sports bar?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
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Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize