Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
