Apparently you make a good broom.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
