I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize