i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
