Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.