Me too!
only if we run a train.
done.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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