Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
