Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
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She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
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she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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