so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
