I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
