had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You were trust falling into bushes
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
