Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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