so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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