I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
