Heybabeimwearingurpanties
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Alive.
So much puke
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
