Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Randomize