I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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