Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
