Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
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