We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
