walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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