im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
and she was petting her beer can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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