Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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