oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
