How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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