you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
