that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
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You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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