On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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