some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
