Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
