Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
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his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
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Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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