remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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