normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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